The Pious man's Ru-loo-book

Reading religion with less than a believer's zeal and more than a dilletante's interest is fun, if you don't like the idea of pontificating, or of a Higher power 'talking down' to you. But this part about God dictating how to use the toilet is too funny.

One should enter the toilet with the left foot and leave with the right foot. One should not face nor turn your back on __ whilst relieving yourself.
It is not permissible to enter the toilet whilst carrying or wearing anything bearing the name of __, such as the __, or any book with the name of __ in it, or jewelry such as bracelets or necklaces engraved with the name of __.

One should remain silent whilst on the toilet. Talking, answering greetings or greeting others is forbidden.

One should not face nor turn your back on __ whilst relieving yourself

One should be out of sight of people when going to the toilet. It is considered forbidden to relieve oneself whilst standing up, lying down or if you are completely nude. One should avoid going to the toilet anywhere where people may take rest or gather for any purpose. Do not raise clothes until you get close to the ground and do not uncover the body any more than is needed

Fill in the blanks yourself.

This one's for you, John Thain

Proletariat Internationalism is the inevitable closure, its the End Game.

You hearing me Mr Jones?

I won't be the one cheering from outside the window. I won't play the impresario.

I will be the one knocking on your door.

I will be the one who throws your baby into the fire.

I will be the one to take your wife.

Are you still there Mr Jones?

Money is Evil, unless its earned.

Squeezing; Cheating the people for profit is unimaginative.

You hear me and understand me perfectly.

Do you, Mr Jones?

Note: this is original

When thinking before speaking grew tiresome, we invented Idioms. Suddenly, your favorite exclamation from Tintin is enough to make you a geek savant. Old fashioned Inventiveness is for squares. Its a time for economy of the imagination but with no credit limit on borrowing ideas. So there - its a stupidity bubble. Go on, glut on urbandictionary.com.

Ever since I began reading comments on youtube, my phraseology has been riddled with holes. There is so much to read out there that is written in hormonal spurts, crawling with spelling errors and deformed monstrosities of fallacy. Time to re-read some Naipaul, and flush out the toxins out of my frontal cortex.

Word Origami: the Ubermenschen

American culture is the ersatz ideal the world's intelligence has been insulted with. To push new frontiers of sapience the human race needs to be intravenously fed Japanese Animes. Long lived, androgynous, porcelain dolls, with slant eyes and 120 median IQs are our future. Go Shinji. Go Naruto. Hai.

Cigarrete and Chocolate

Its been a long time. I felt the craving for nothing in particular and decided that it had to be a Cigarrete. In marketing its called the principle of least effort. Now I have a Navy Cut packet lying right on my desk for the past few days, an article bought in contingency to accommodate lack of change in a transaction with an auto wallah. So I go to the terrace with a bar of Chocolate and get overstimulated by the great churn affected by nicotine and cocoa, stimulant and aphrodisiac. Now Lord help me. I just pray to him that I don't do this again tomorrow night.

Der Fuhrer und Der ICQ

So do you like Hitler?
whats that for a question?
i think onliest thing what u know about germany is hitler, right
lol.. thats not true
I know porsche and volkswagen
I know Angela Merkel
wow
I know Oktoberfest
mercedes?
Bavarian countryside, beautiful
and the Black Forest
:)
but do the Germans also like Hitler or not... lol
no
they dont like
a few does
hehehe
okay
but nobody likes these persons
but Hitler is still the most popular German no frau?
no
is michael schumacher

Madonna and the Art of Survival for the plain looking

I have always backed the underdog, not on principle, but out of subconscious groupthink. The truth is that I have always fancied to think of myself as one, right through the dark winters of my life into the sanguine stability of the present. I would never accept the part of the Man, my loathing of Him being far too great compounded by the self-devouring Idealism that often accompanies it. I like to think I understand the violence of the Upstart. In a social consciousness defined by blue-eyed darlings cavorting from Billboards and Television, outrage is often the only way for the diligent but moderately endowed to be noticed for their hard work and to be treated on par and with respect.

Which is what endears me to Madonna. Without the deliberate positioning as provocateur and public paramour, and inspite of her singing talents, she would never have T0T4L PWNAGE as the Queen of Pop for all these decades. Not a chance with those jowls and manlike features.